FORMER X Factor star Misha B has said she was left suicidal over the treatment she received from fellow contestants, judges and producers during her time on the show.
Speaking live via her Instagram account yesterday evening, the singer spoke about several incidents involving contestants including Kitty Brucknall, and judges Louis Walsh and Tulisa.
Misha B said that rumours were spread about her, including that she had made disparaging comments about Little Mix singer Leigh-Anne Pinnock and the rest of the girl group.
“I don’t give a f*** about fame. Fame is the last thing on my agenda, yeah. I have purpose, passion and purpose. Listen, if it ain’t about the upliftment of my people, I am not interested,” Misha B said.
The 28-year-old, who was 19 when she competed in the singing show, said after asking for a meeting with Little Mix to discuss the rumours and clear the air, she felt a “real coldness” from those on the show.
“At that moment it’s like I felt invisible,” she said.
One of the people on the show who did give Misha B support was her mentor Kelly Rowland who she told “everything that had happened”.
She said Rowland prayed with her and encouraged her to channel the energy into her performance.
Addressing those who spoke negatively about her character, Misha B said: “You created this whole narrative of me being overconfident because I’m black. And in your eyes black girls should not be confident; black girls are just one of…oh you look like a young Tina Turner, oh you look like a young Chaka Khan…why can I not just look like me? Why is it we always have to look like somebody else, why is it always a comparison for black women?”
Recalling an interaction with Tulisa, Misha B said the statements the formerb N Dubz singer made were scripted.
During the exchange, Tulisa referred to Misha B as “fiesty” and “mean”.
She also told her to “put aside the attitude”.
“Speaking my truth unapologetically is where my power lies,” Misha B said.
Looking back at what happened, Misha B said she felt as if her “whole world stopped”.
Through tears, Misha B said: “That night when those allegations…happened, I just remember I was on the coach. I was on my own I just needed time to just breathe you know and I just remember thinking of ways…I remember thinking of ways to end my own life.”
The singer criticised everyone who stayed silent when they knew what was going on.
Misha B’s comments about controversial comments on the show being scripted echoes what Gary Barlow said in his book A Better Me.
“About half an hour before the show goes live, the producers would come in and they’d go, ‘Oh my God. That Misha. She’s a bully. Can’t believe it. She is such a bully. In fact, you know what? You should say it. You should say it on air. She’s bullied everyone all week’,” the Independent reported Barlow wrote in his autobiography.
The experience prompted Misha B to go to the doctor, where she was diagnosed with PTSD. She then began therapy in 2012, which she continues to have to date.
“That experience, that trauma had changed me as a person,” Misha B said.
Tulisa, Walsh and ITV have not yet commented on Misha B’s statements.
The Voice has contacted ITV and Tulisa for comment.